This is a pregnancy card from Kate's Paperie that I bought myself because guess what, I am pregnant. I could have bought it for several other friends who are pregnant, but darn it, it was too cute to not cut and paste it into my new pregnancy journal that I also bought at Kate's. The booties were knitted in 60 seconds by my friend Word Bird, and were done so with pink and green yarn so could be unisex.
Now, I just have to warn you, I am not a "baby person". I'm one of those people who looks at dogs on the sidewalk, and goes mushy. I look at babies in strollers, and instead of wanting my own tiny baby, just want to have my own one of those stroller sleeping bag blankets that I myself can sleep in. In other words, the clock in my belly wasn't ticking, but the clock in my brain was. My goal was to set up my own business so that I could work from home or have easy access to my children (even saying that feels weird!). I also wanted to be sort of young. My mom was 23; Dental Mista's mom was 19. I always had a feeling that I wanted kids young, but wouldn't do it until my early 30s. Well, here we are! And for those of you mistas who think that you're getting old because you're in your 30s, let me tell you: most likely, you are just as ripe. ;)
So are you going to see me jump and down and stuff? Probably not. But it's not because I'm not excited. I'm more overwhelmed and humbled with learning, and realizations that babies and all of us are miracles. Will you see cutenesses in between the lines of these pregnancy posts? Probably. ;) Why did I wait so long to blog about it? Well, because it's all still a little weird to me, and I keep learning things that make new milestones of 'safeness'. So, at 15 weeks, I think I can tell you.
These are literal FAQs ;)
Do you want to know if it's a boy or a girl?
At first I wanted to go old school, and David quickly agreed. I also didn't want to get too attached in case something bad happened. But then I kept getting ultrasounds and saw it progress from a black smudge, to a white spec inside of the black smudge, to a jumping bean in the black smudge (indicated heartbeat...milestone!), to now a flipping around tiny baby thing. Then my friend, who was supposed to be the one who would hold out with me and be one of the last to get pregnant, actually got pregnant, and then 20 weeks later, called me to say "It's a girl!" after her ultrasound. So I decided that I wanted to know, but David wants to wait. So I just won't tell him. ;) Plus, David and I are hooked on 2 names - one girl and one boy name. So, I'd really like to know which I can start latching onto, and which I need to get final about (I'm not crazy about the boy name, but I'll deal with that once I know the for sure answer).
Are you having cravings?
Not really. I like pickles anyway, so now am just freely eating them. I will say that I'm eating new things. New, and bad things. Like soda. I've sworn off Diet Coke, but the more I see it in people's glasses with ice cubes floating around, the more I want to suck it down. I'm having a Sprite right now. I have a sweet tooth, but am trying to not give the baby diabetes. The sight of cooked salmon grosses me out. I love salmon, so this is a sad loss.
Are you tired?
It varies by week. Like most of these new pregnancy symptoms. This week I appear to not be tired, as this post is bring written at 10pm. But I must say, in the beginning, going to bed at 9pm was awesome. Now, I don't get so much tired as my bones get tired. I'm told that my bones have softened to make it easy for them to shift around and widen (wha???). So, sometimes I feel quite crackily and brittle.
Are you going to move out of New York City?
I'm not going to lie. The school system freaks me out. There is a consultant I could go to who could help me navigate (I know that sounds silly...but really, it overwhelms me), but David and I grew up in the midwest. We kind of like the outdoors and backyards and crocuses. Plus, I grew up in a place I wanted to break out of and see new things. I think that gave me a drive, yes? It's a cockeyed theory tho. Unproven. The thought of leaving New York City leaves us jittery. So, we've looked at Upper Manhattan (aka Harlem, Washington Heights, anywhere that has a shred of a deal left), and train towns along in the Hudson. We shall see...
Are you going to go on maternity leave?
If I was working for a salaried desk job, sure, I'd take it and cherish it. But I don't. I blog, I Facebook stuff, I help people grow their websites, I love challenges, I order more inventory and love when it sells off the website. So that is work for me, but it's work that I love. To not do it would leave me twitching. Look at Diane Keaton's character in Baby Boom. She left her job (pushed out), and started making all of those apple sauces until they were a huge business. She just could not sit still. And guess what. Neither can the baby! It flips around all of the time and punches the air.
You must read the Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy.
Ok, this isn't a question, it's a statement. I'll confess, I have the attention span for the weekly www.babycenter.com emails, which tell me what week I'm at and what's happening. Last week, the fingerprints formed. I also have the www.childbirthconnection.org experts on speed-email because Katie James Pixelated helps them manage their website. But I use this only in emergencies. But it has inspired a new Pregnancy 101 section...
Can you feel it?
No. And that makes it all weirder. I have no bulging bump, and I don't feel anything flipping. I can see it flipping during an ultrasound, but that's it - for now. I'm told that later on of course, I will. Last summer, my pedicure lady, who I see every 2-3 weeks, looked at me in my umpire waist shirt from Urban Outfitters and said: "Baby!?" and I had to say "No.". But now when I go in there, I feel like they are looking at my extra love handle-ish belly, and wondering, and not saying something. When they say something to me, I will feel officially pregnant. But for now, I think they are being polight. ;)
Are you drinking coffee?
Yes. One cup a day is deemed ok. I only drank one cup in the morning anyway.
Are you getting the H1N1 shot?
Yes. After much consideration, I decided that the conspiracy theorists who thought the government was trying to kill us through the shot was not actually logical. The H1N1 itself seemed to be taking care of that. I have a pretty high immune system anyway, but do have asthma, so after a lot of debating, I got it. I requested the mercury-free one.
Are you getting the flu shot?
Not sure. I don't get the flu much anyway, tho I'm told that my immune system is down during pregnancy. We shall see. Soda doesn't help the situation, and usually brings on a cold if I'm having one floating around my body. So I should stay away from that.
Ok, so once you say you're pregnant, everyone thinks you have a belly that you might rub. What you actually have is "redistributed weight". So, while I gained 0-3 pounds in the first several weeks, I had more love handles than ever. I think I'm at 8lbs now, and skirts from the summer are just not getting over my hips. It's depressing. Oh, and why am I trying on skirts from the summer? Because I am the most comfortable in leggings, and leggings need a little skirt or sweater dress to go over them. And saying to me: "But it's for a good cause!" doesn't console me. Until I find a wardrobe that is easy to put on again, I will fight this non-weight weight gain. Still no bump. Ok, maybe a tiny bump, but if you didn't know I was pregnant, you'd think I'd been eating too many Crumbs cupcakes again.
Guys sense the pregnancy hormones. I swear it. It's like a perfume.
I am in a raging clothing crisis. I already needed new jeans, as one pair of my Paige's had shrunk long ago so were tight anyway. My Habituals finally are in shreds, and my AG skinny jeans are so skinny, that while stretching them out after the dryer, they finally split (the fabric went soft, of course!). I patched those, but on way to the pedicure place two weeks ago, they split again, and this time, there is no return. I told this to my mom: "Mom! I am showing cheek!" And so began her maternity clothing mission. And who am I to stop her. She has since found maternity for Habitual, AG, 3 dot, and more. My good friend New Mom Mista (who needs a new name by now) loaded me up with her very nice maternity collection, which consists of a lot of pink and green, her favorite colors. The collection included 7 of All Mankind jeans, but we have both agreed, that the elastic on those (for the bump), is waaay too tight even for her pilates stomach. This is hard people. Very hard. I'm currently in Pink sweats from Victoria Secrets, or in my AG stretch cords in my normal, non-pregnant size (oddly). We found stretch cotton shirts at Anthropology in the sale room, so hurrah. The search for normal looking maternity clothes has begun.
Ok, I'm off to bed so that I can get good sleep for the baby and wake up tomorrow for some small amount of cardio to keep the oxygen flowing.